La to Portland ride needed asap

Must get to Portland asap (Downtown greyhound station)

ride wanted

I must be in Portland ASAP, willing to do anything it takes to get there as quickly as I can... Will get to greyhound station downtown LA and do absolutely ANYTHING I must to make this happen fast.... Nothing else matters to me, I will absolutely do exactly as told and prove this to anyone who will provide my transportation to PORTLAND the fastest!!! gay male, 54 headed to MASTER to begin new existence as slave and property! Please help me.