Heard it in the back

I picked up 2  30 something men Saturday night at a bar. Joe and Jack were feeling no pain Jay was trashed. (Names were changed to protect the innocent and not so innocent). Jay says did you bang (fk) (some words were changed) Jill last night? Joe is trying to ignore him but he keeps asking. Joe finally answers to shut him up. So Jay says I have to tell you the story of Joe's last bday. Jack says, "Oh no here we go again, I am apologizing now". Here is the story told by Jay,  his words not mine. We go to Chinatown to meet up with some hookers.  They make us all strip naked and take a shower together before they would touch our d's. I am not gay or anything but I have a small d & I'm 6'1, Jack has a medium d he is 6', but I have to tell you my man sitting next you has the biggest d I ever saw. I dont get it he is only 5'8.  I am not gay or anything but I had to stare at it. If he took off his clothes now I would stare at it  I'm not gay but its the biggest …

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I picked up 2  30 something men Saturday night at a bar. Joe and Jack were feeling no pain Jay was trashed. (Names were changed to protect the innocent and not so innocent). Jay says did you bang (fk) (some words were changed) Jill last night? Joe is trying to ignore him but he keeps asking. Joe finally answers to shut him up. So Jay says I have to tell you the story of Joe's last bday. Jack says, "Oh no here we go again, I am apologizing now". Here is the story told by Jay,  his words not mine. We go to Chinatown to meet up with some hookers.  They make us all strip naked and take a shower together before they would touch our d's. I am not gay or anything but I have a small d & I'm 6'1, Jack has a medium d he is 6', but I have to tell you my man sitting next you has the biggest d I ever saw. I dont get it he is only 5'8.  I am not gay or anything but I had to stare at it. If he took off his clothes now I would stare at it  I'm not gay but its the biggest f ing d i ever saw, I am f ing amazed. I asked the hookers if they ever seen a d that big? I was wondering if he had a rubbers for a d that big. I was thinking maybe they would have to put saran wrap on his d. I just couldnt stop staring at it and I am not gay. (Real serious he says)Hey if you want you can come into club with us I'm sure Joe wouldnt mind showing you his big d. You will be amazed at his big d. Hey Joe would you mind showing her? It's just the most biggest f ing d ever. If you think its the biggest d ever maybe he can break a record or something (like my opinion would count lol). Dont think i am f ing gay but just cant get over how big his f ing d is". I look at Joe and ask who ordered the Uber he says I did. I reply "you know your getting 1 star". He says, "I figured that" . I just smiled and said no worries if Jay is telling the truth you deserve 5 stars 😊 We all laughed Joe and Jack apologized and seemed somewhat embarrassed.  Drunk Jay was still going on about the big D, not being gay, and me going in club to see the big f ing d as they were getting out of car.  I dont think Jay will be picking up women anytime soon telling this story.  Although I think he is secretly in love with Joe's big f ing d.  Lol  I have 3 boys, 2 brothers, and 6 nephews nothing shocks me especially driving for Uber. There wasn't much I could do but laugh. The funniest part was he actually sounded so sincere and serious while telling this story. Never came to his drunk mind that this really wasnt something to be telling your 53 yr old female Uber driver. Other 2 were embarrased and apologized multiple times and left me a nice $20 tip. If I had a 1.00 for everytime he said D##k, f ing, and I'm not gay I could've cashed out and went home for the night.

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