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What is a polite way to ask an Uber or Lyft driver to stop talking? I do not always want a conversation.

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SimoneXL
19
 Posted 2 months, 3 weeks ago

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Look, I am a nice person and I know my manners.  However, I am not always up for conversing, especially after a long day or a flight or whatever. I even often enjoy small talks with strangers, but all the time, and not for the entire duration of the trip.

How do people politely ask the driver that I am not up for a conversation? Any techniques or tips?

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    momof4
    7533 Rider Driver
     2 months ago

    Be honest. Driver - Hi, how are you. You - Fine and you? You - Tired, looking forward to a relaxing ride to clear my head. I dont mean to be rude but I am exhausted would love to have some quiet time before I get home (work). Just going to close my eyes and relax just let me know when we arrive. Going to try and get some work done.  Looking forward to putting my headphone on & listening to relaxing music. Hope you dont mind but i am not up for conversation had an exhausting day. Anyone of these would be fine. Drivers would get the hint you dont want to talk. It would be great if Uber had a choice when you request you could click 1. Open to conversation 2. Doing work, tired would really like quiet time. We cant read minds although can usually figure out when riders dont want to talk. I dont mind if rider wants to talk or dont want to talk. Have no problem with rider just being honest. I pick up a lot of business people some get in and say " i have some calls to make or i am going to finish up some work. Great, i throw one headphone in listen to my music and concentrate on driving. 

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      SimoneXL
      19
       2 months ago

       You are very good. Thank you!

      Just curious, seeing that you are a driver. For those drivers who don’t get the hint, do they receive feedback the riders leave for them?   (If there’s even a place for us to leave feedback, that is.)

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        momof4
        7533 Rider Driver
         2 months ago


        Warning - more info than you asked for:) Feel free to just read approx 20 sentences thst answers your question. You asked a really good questions that may help both riders and drivers. 

        If you rate a driver under 5 stars it will give you choices of what the problem was. Talking too much isnt one of them but you can click "other". Its there you can give the reason and a report will be sent to driver. Unfortunately  most people dont give a reason. If a rider rates us under 5 stars 99.9% of time we dont know why. It sucks because then we dont know what we are doing wrong. It's hard to fix something when we dont know what the problem is. Just please keep in mind drivers can be deactivated when ratings fall below 4.6. Drivers are on the road for long hours do to rates ($) falling all the time. I know this isnt your problem or your fault but it does get lonely out there. Sometimes drivers need some interaction:) Uber also deactivates drivers with higher ratings for ...

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        Warning - more info than you asked for:) Feel free to just read approx 20 sentences thst answers your question. You asked a really good questions that may help both riders and drivers. 

        If you rate a driver under 5 stars it will give you choices of what the problem was. Talking too much isnt one of them but you can click "other". Its there you can give the reason and a report will be sent to driver. Unfortunately  most people dont give a reason. If a rider rates us under 5 stars 99.9% of time we dont know why. It sucks because then we dont know what we are doing wrong. It's hard to fix something when we dont know what the problem is. Just please keep in mind drivers can be deactivated when ratings fall below 4.6. Drivers are on the road for long hours do to rates ($) falling all the time. I know this isnt your problem or your fault but it does get lonely out there. Sometimes drivers need some interaction:) Uber also deactivates drivers with higher ratings for stupid things or riders lying to receive a free trip. If a driver doesnt take the hint feel free to come right out and say "i am not up for conversation". Being honest is the best way. If they continue to talk then yes that is an issue. Just asking you to keep in mind that drivers can get deactivated easily. Uber doesnt care about drivers as new ones sign up everyday. If they are continuing to talk or something on your ride is annoying or wrong by all means report it. 1 stars should be given if driver is unsafe, careless, drunk, high, etc.... 4 stars hurt their ratings enough. What i cant figure out is riders tell me their driver was unsafe, blew through lights etc... they dont report it. That is just crazy. Report that driver. Then you have the people that 1 star a driver because there air freshner too strong or they missed their street and it took an extra minute to get to destination. This isnt an exact science and many personalities out there. Some drivers are rude and are jerks I get it. Just realize you may be the cause of a driver to loose their job. If its something simple 4 stars with a report will do enough damage but 1 star really should be reserved for major issues.  Anything below 5 will hurt drivers ratings. If they deserve of course rate them below 5. Please take the extra minute click other and give reason why. That will be so helpful to that driver. They may be talking to much all the time but if all riders just give 4 stars or below & never report why the driver cant fix the problem if they dont know why. As a driver I wish riders would tell me on the ride if something isnt to their liking. As of today my ratings are 4.95 on Uber and a 5.0 on Lyft. I have no idea what happened on the Uber rides that caused me to have a lower rating. So I cant fix what I dont know. This way I can fix it right then or make sure it doesnt happen again. I set out to give a safe, comfortable, ride. If I screw up tell me:)  If the temp in car isnt comfortable, music is loud or annoying say something it can be fixed. My riders know I am easy going and do what I can to make them comfortable. I let them know when they get in. If a rider asks me to do something and its within reason Ill do it but yet Ill see a 4 star pop up & never know why.  I am sure you were looking for a 2 sentence answer but I post in detail to help other riders who may not understand the ratings system & what it can do to a driver.   Some riders are under the impression 4 stars are good:)  If you dont mind me asking what city are you in? Thank you for asking a great question. Feel free to ask questions or comment. Love to see riders interacting and posting. This is a great site.  The forum can be a great place to help drivers and riders understand both sides. I also like that everybody for the most part are respectful of each other and if we disagree people dont get disrespectful. Would like to see you post more questions or  give feedback from a riders perspective. Thanks again for posting a great question. 


        Rider ratings

        Drivers are required to rate every passenger on Uber. Lyft defaults to 5 stars for riders but drivers have 24 hrs to change it. Although both U & L have not deactivated riders for having low ratings. Many drivers will decline a ride request when passenger has a low rating.  When a ride  request pings our phone we see rider ratings time & miles to pick up. I personally will not pick up a rider below 4.5 during the day, weekend nights under a 4.70, week nights under 4.60. I know drivers that will not take a request below a 4.8 no matter what time. If a rider rating is low you will find wait times for a ride may increase as drivers are decling your request. Sometimes the driver who will take the request is a new driver because they dont know any better.

          Reasons drivers rate passengers low (I do not agree with most of these). In 2101 rides I have only rated 9 riders under 5 stars. 

        Slamming doors, not tipping, leaving trash, eating in cars, bringing open containers of alcohol, smelling like weed, cigarettes, BO, etc..., puking, leaving a mess, talking loudly on their cell phone, smoking in the car. Sure there are more or I forgot a few. 


        Fake Names

         I also will not accept a request on Lyft with fake names. Dont know if you seen my other post but received a request few weeks back with the name D#@kSwallower. No way am I picking someone up with name. His request pinged my phone over 3X in 20 min. I assume he waited a long time for a driver. Riders have info about who their driver is & their car and we get background checks (not the best ones but still its something). Drivers have nothing but a name, riders not backround checked, and some just use gift cards so U and L have no clue who they are. There are really nothing we can do to protect ourselves. Technically in our TOS we are not allowed to carry weapons. Drivers have been attacked and killed but U and L do not care. A pregnant woman was murdered by her driver and the baby was killed also. The least these companies could do is get a little more info even if its just a correct name. 

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    AndrewCalam
    65
     2 months ago

    I am not a driver, but I feel like there is a tacit understanding that the drivers don't really speak unless spoken to?  Or most prefer to not talk, so they make a small small talk in the beginning but when the riders are quiet, drivers also remain quiet.

    So basically, they do what you want to do.  Hopefully they can read the room and catch it when the driver doesn't feel like talking.

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      momof4
      7533 Rider Driver
       2 months ago

      Yes Andrew you are correct but some drivers apparently dont get it and spill all their problems. Not many. So wrong. Lol

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    B-girlAnderson11
    83
     2 months ago

    I pretend to be asleep.  Just put your head on the glass, and close your eyes.  I mean, I do that most of the time anyways.

    You can also pretend to be on a phone call or something too.  but that takes a lot effort.

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      momof4
      7533 Rider Driver
       2 months ago

      B-girl Anderson, those are good ideas. You shouldn't have to do the phone thing lol. You are correct that it works but it takes effort. I like to talk to my riders and love to listen to what they have to say. I dont ever talk about my problems. I try to let rider do most of talking & I listen. I dont offer my .2 unless rider asks.  However some riders dont want to talk. That is fine. I say Hi, how are you? How was your day? If their replies are fine and good. Basic one word answers I say no more. If they elaborate or ask me questions I will engage. Usually by them just answering with one word thats my clue they dont want to talk. Try that. If driver continues just say "not trying to be rude but I'm exhausted just happy to have some quiet time". I would hope they respect that you were not rude and you were honest.  One other thing that would work is once you are in car (you got through the hi, how are) say "I am going to put my headphones on"...

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      B-girl Anderson, those are good ideas. You shouldn't have to do the phone thing lol. You are correct that it works but it takes effort. I like to talk to my riders and love to listen to what they have to say. I dont ever talk about my problems. I try to let rider do most of talking & I listen. I dont offer my .2 unless rider asks.  However some riders dont want to talk. That is fine. I say Hi, how are you? How was your day? If their replies are fine and good. Basic one word answers I say no more. If they elaborate or ask me questions I will engage. Usually by them just answering with one word thats my clue they dont want to talk. Try that. If driver continues just say "not trying to be rude but I'm exhausted just happy to have some quiet time". I would hope they respect that you were not rude and you were honest.  One other thing that would work is once you are in car (you got through the hi, how are) say "I am going to put my headphones on". If driver still tries to talk to you (unless navagation ?) then I feel sorry for you:) that is definately ridiculous. Put the headphones on turn up the music and def 3/4 star them with why they got the 3/4 stars. Riders will not be paired with drivers who rate them under 3 stars and vise vera.

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    cacocay
    15 Driver Driver
     2 months ago  (edited 1 month ago)

    As an Uber driver ,I love to drive in order to have fun get excited to meet a positive cool people with a friendly attitude especially those since of hummer who are funny and chatty keeping me entertained by talking to them treating me as a special making my job happy .But sometimes ,when I pick up those arrogant ,jerks and snappy customers they don't say  "hello "and just get in and start giving an orders . Many formal passengers want to ride in silence which is very rude and super  awkward, and probably many of the drivers on the contrary likes to chatt for fun .Still, as a human being  need to contact with each other showing a human interactions  with a nice and friendly attitude treating each other with respect . I always rating those kind of the nice humble riders 5 stars if they are friendly and socialize with a sense of hummer  by joking and  having a small chatting with the riders trying not ignoring them if they want to talk which...

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    As an Uber driver ,I love to drive in order to have fun get excited to meet a positive cool people with a friendly attitude especially those since of hummer who are funny and chatty keeping me entertained by talking to them treating me as a special making my job happy .But sometimes ,when I pick up those arrogant ,jerks and snappy customers they don't say  "hello "and just get in and start giving an orders . Many formal passengers want to ride in silence which is very rude and super  awkward, and probably many of the drivers on the contrary likes to chatt for fun .Still, as a human being  need to contact with each other showing a human interactions  with a nice and friendly attitude treating each other with respect . I always rating those kind of the nice humble riders 5 stars if they are friendly and socialize with a sense of hummer  by joking and  having a small chatting with the riders trying not ignoring them if they want to talk which make me fill having good time doing my job keeping entertained getting treated as a spacial super star which make me so excited and also keeping our vehicle clean with no mess or damages  or eating and drinking inside making a mess  .if the riders do not engage in conversations I will downrate them with 2 to 3 stars maximum for being formal ,rude and jerks with arrogant behavior acting like they are bossy treating the drivers as a slave especially if they jumped to my car asking me to take them to their destination  without saying "Hello" and also if they are not talkative being so quite during the trip entertaining themselves by  texting or talking on the cell or people and also if they are talking among to each other with people inside my car ignoring me instead of chatting with me which is really awkward and super rude ,getting frustrating and makes me feel like a machine doing my job which not nice at all to be rude and disrespectful with no reason .Those kind of riders need to understand Uber is a community service not like a taxi cab service taking them from point A to B  making a space between the riders and drivers.Also it's very annoying ,super awkward and very rude for being quite not chatty or chatting among to each other keep the driver ignored and also when they ask the driver turning on the radio very loud beside ignoring the drivers chatting among to each other so that they deserve 2 stars for misbehave with no respect for the friendly Uber drivers and their vehicle . So if the riders want to be a good 5 star rating passenger they need to make that " Don't Ignore your friendly Uber driver ". 

    If the riders are looking for a quite service with a quite formal driver without being sociable and friendly avoiding getting a bad star rating for being formal with a drivers all the time during the trip taking them only from point A to point B just to have a relaxation doing their own privacy by making a space or a wall between the drivers not communicating with them without a friendly atmosphere such as : listening to the music or playing a video on the cell phone and also texting or talking on the phone without an excuse or doing their own entertainment by chatting among to each other ....etc ,it's much better to take a public transport up such as a taxi cab , shuttle , bus or luminous with those formal quite drivers . However ;those cab drivers are unfriendly with their passenger , busy and making a space always who are not talkative with there passenger as long they are looking for a quite and relaxation service like that and also they don't have any friendly greeting their riders like us as an Uber's partners.However;If those arrogant riders ignoring us as a friendly drivers like to have a quite ride with your phone texting ,talking and chatting with peploe with you keeping the uber driver ignored by treating us as a server or slave its will be better for them to take a public transport up such as a taxi cab , shuttle , bus or luminous which is fair enough if they don't show us any friendly treatment with a respect as a human being .


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    SimoneXL
    19
     2 months ago

    Just noticed the "opt-out" idea in the Uber app.  That's insane!  and funny!

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    SimoneXL
    19
     2 months ago

    I don't mind hear from the drivers too! Any tips or suggestions?