“I’ll tip you in the app...” which is almost always a lie.
“Hurry Up, I’m late for my …”. If you text or call me before I get there with that message, I’m cancelling, your rush is not going to be my speeding ticket.
“The other drivers let me do it...” No, you can’t crowd 5 people in, bring a drink in, or have children with no car seat. They are all illegal. So no, I’m not risking my future for you.
"Mind if I take off my shoes? " Yeah right!
"Do you mind if I smoke?" Only if you are on fire!
"Do you mind stopping by the liquor store, I'll only be a minute." Sure, it'll be a dollar a minute (cash) starting now.
"Can you help me find some party favors?" Only if you can find them at Walmart!
" If you don't let me ... (have my way about something) I'm going to file a complaint with Uber." Okay Mr./Ms. one star, hope to never see you again!!
"Do you have Jesus in your heart?" Yes, and he's clogging my arteries.
"Do you want to see my..." Hmm, I'm not sure!!
"Give me all your money or else...!" Ha Ha hahahhahhaahhaa. This $11.79 just got you twenty years pal! Smile for the camera synced into the cloud!
Do not ask me for my opinion when you are in an argument with your significant other!!
Do not ask me what my zodiac sign is. I'm not that hard up for conversation!