What should you never say to an Uber or Lyft (or any other rideshare) driver?

“I’ll tip you in the app...” which is almost always a lie.“Hurry Up, I’m late for my …”. If you text or call me before I get there with that message, I’m cancelling, your rush is not going to be my speeding ticket.“The other drivers let me do it...” No, you can’t crowd 5 people in, bring a drink in, or have children with no car seat. They are all illegal.  So no, I’m not risking my future for you."Mind if I take off my shoes? " Yeah right!"Do you mind if I smoke?" Only if you are on fire!"Do you mind stopping by the liquor store, I'll only be a minute." Sure, it'll be a dollar a minute (cash) starting now."Can you help me find some party favors?"  Only if you can find them at Walmart!" If you don't let me ... (have my way about something) I'm going to file a complaint with Uber." Okay Mr./Ms. one star, hope to never see you again!!"D…

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“I’ll tip you in the app...” which is almost always a lie.“Hurry Up, I’m late for my …”. If you text or call me before I get there with that message, I’m cancelling, your rush is not going to be my speeding ticket.“The other drivers let me do it...” No, you can’t crowd 5 people in, bring a drink in, or have children with no car seat. They are all illegal.  So no, I’m not risking my future for you."Mind if I take off my shoes? " Yeah right!"Do you mind if I smoke?" Only if you are on fire!"Do you mind stopping by the liquor store, I'll only be a minute." Sure, it'll be a dollar a minute (cash) starting now."Can you help me find some party favors?"  Only if you can find them at Walmart!" If you don't let me ... (have my way about something) I'm going to file a complaint with Uber." Okay Mr./Ms. one star, hope to never see you again!!"Do you have Jesus in your heart?" Yes, and he's clogging my arteries."Do you want to see my..." Hmm, I'm not sure!!"Give me all your money or else...!" Ha Ha hahahhahhaahhaa. This $11.79 just got you twenty years pal! Smile for the camera synced into the cloud!

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In fear that this thread just ends up being a free for all whining fest:

1. I will tip you on the app. Never say that, this is a red flag for your driver. Just tip, if you decided to do so.
2. I will give you 5 stars, man. Humiliating. If you decided to go with 5 stars instead of a tip, just do it.
3. How do you like driving for Uber? 96% of the drivers quit within 1 year. That gives you the answer by itself. In my area I get paid $0.76/mile and $0.12/minute. Please don’t ask me how I feel. If you like the ride, just tip.
4. Do you have an AUX cord? No, I don’t. If you wanna listen to your music, use your phone and your headphones.
5. May we stop here (at this convenience or liquor store, food chain place, whatever)? Yes, we can. But consider that while shopping, your driver gets $0.12 a minute, so when stopped please produce an US bill of considerable value with the words “I will be right back, sir” just to hear “Take your time” in return.
6. May I take my dog with me? Ye…

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In fear that this thread just ends up being a free for all whining fest:

1. I will tip you on the app. Never say that, this is a red flag for your driver. Just tip, if you decided to do so.
2. I will give you 5 stars, man. Humiliating. If you decided to go with 5 stars instead of a tip, just do it.
3. How do you like driving for Uber? 96% of the drivers quit within 1 year. That gives you the answer by itself. In my area I get paid $0.76/mile and $0.12/minute. Please don’t ask me how I feel. If you like the ride, just tip.
4. Do you have an AUX cord? No, I don’t. If you wanna listen to your music, use your phone and your headphones.
5. May we stop here (at this convenience or liquor store, food chain place, whatever)? Yes, we can. But consider that while shopping, your driver gets $0.12 a minute, so when stopped please produce an US bill of considerable value with the words “I will be right back, sir” just to hear “Take your time” in return.
6. May I take my dog with me? Yes, but you have to approach a car with your toy dog in one hand and, again, with the bill of a considerable amount in the other. I am obligated to take the service animal only. Please don’t fake it as well.

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